walk it out
the truth is
this morning
when eye woke up
apart from love
after 2 weeks
tangled in love
i felt
like
i was paradoxically
dying
and
shockingly alive
all at once
but knew
more than ever before
that as un politically correct
as it sounds
its not just that i want a good woman
so much as that as man
i just plain out need a good woman
and
on some deeply personal level
that
terrifies me
annihilates me
brings me to my knees
for un speak able reasons
that i will now whisper
and
that is
i fear the loss
of never seeing again
those that i love
after this bag of dust and bones
can no longer walk and talk...
i am not one
able to see a fairy tale heaven
eye just dont know
what happens after we leave this dream
and that includes
the possibility
of the incomphrehensible
so
when i woke this morning
i felt all the pain of that un certainty
close again to love
yet also the un fathom able possibility
that at some point
i may
never be able to love that love
let alone touch that love
again
and in that un reasonable doubt
i pulled myself
out of bed
not claiming to have guts or deep bravery
just saying to myself
all i can do
is love and be loved
and
walk it out
as best i can
oily paintings
Pointless Pointless Pointless-My Blog
